|Cover art by Soul Voice® practitioner Carmencita Catania|
…In my path it has been really important let myself being guided by the question: “ What is right for me, what I feel truly belonging to me, making me really me?” The answers at the beginning confuser and uncertain, became more and more clarified taking a direction more and more precise going to defeat negative believes holding me back and making me intend that I couldn’t access to what I really loved, what I was attracted by and that I was feeling had something to say to me, beyond rational considerations. So I could give me the permission to study and learn so many things I believed I couldn’t access …the first steps in the unknown were for sure around food…..I could see that my body couldn’t feel good with a traditional Emilian diet with the addition of typical vicious habits of a student life so I started to look for where to find something more suitable for me. I understood, along time, that this attention of mine to food was also due to a re-elaboration of the pain that at my birth and in my first three months of life, was breastfeeding, both for me that for my mother, who had to stop in a premature way and undergo to a medical operation so much invasive. She wanted to breastfeed me and she did, suffering so much, while I was receiving a milk not always so healthy, with the memory of that pain being then forced to a premature separation These memories remained printed inside me, stabilizing a connection point for other little and big traumas always talking to me about the same information of lack and abandonment, about the fear to can’t succeed by my own, to have not enough to get my sustenance. The instinctive reaction of me as a child it has been to look for more food than the one I needed, so trying to balance out that ancient lack and then, when adult, all this turned in the opportunity for me to do research, studies, work and an evolution of myself and in my life style that gave me a great satisfaction. And this has happened also through the work with the Voice.
The remembering Voice
“Our greatest barrier to not living life fully is our lack of being in complete acceptance of where, who, and what we are. We pretend, we judge, we make ourselves better or worst than we are. We hide behind a title or a name, “being somebody”. We react, we procrastinate, we are scared of breaking out of our habits and taking a leap. How will life be without all these labels? How will life find you in all these shadows?(1) “ Only when we allow ourselves to sigh, laugh, cry, groan or moan do we feel a sense of freedom” (2) The matter is that “Our voice remembers what we have forgotten” (3). And I didn’t know. We don’t know…or, better, we have, indeed, forgotten, hidden to ourselves that we have always used the sound of our voice, over words and grammar, to manifest our emotional world and what we are to who and what is around us, to manifest our being. “ Sound is de facto a language of higher order” (4) “This not verbal connection represented an essential communication for hundred of thousand years of human evolution, and for millions of years of animal evolution (5) But not only… “not verbal language” belongs to everybody without distinctions, all over the planet, it’s universal! The Manfred Clynes study in 1960 has extensively proved, if it was necessary, that “ people of every latitude, belonging to any kind of society or race, were expressing emotions as anger and love ( the main emotions) in the same way” Our emotional sounds are an universal language connecting all the human beings and animals too, over the history, connecting and dwelling us in the same location in which we recognize ourselves. When I was a child I loved to sing and play with my voice in a spontaneous way because it was still present inside me the natural way of the expression of my feelings and especially those sounds that were my unique tribute to life. Instead, my mother had learned to shut up that spontaneity since so much time…trying in this way, not giving her own sounds and words, to shut up her pain. And she tried to teach this to me too, making me be quiet criticizing my sings as “ off-key” songs. Also her, she didn’t know. She didn’t know that Mother Nature feeds and lights everybody, nice and bad, young and old, without distinctions of race or other, and anyway these are human categories, She has place for everyone and here where day and night, male and female, exist, offer us a dynamic place where to live and give us the instruments to gain a better live…Grief exists as fear and anger as joy but…but more they live in a painful way if we hold them inside ourselves and we keep these vibrant informations in silent, captured in our cells memory, in our thoughts…when it is our natural instinct to let go these emotions bringing them to the world with our voice, freeing us, transmuting them in something useful, effective and productive for our wellness. When we pull us an hammer blow on a finger it is so natural to cry out bringing outside the pressure we have received ( how could it be if exploding inwardly?) as for example when giving birth to use voice to go with contractions and relax, so helpful for the mother and the child. It’s a Nature’s law, not written yes but effective, we are crossed by emotions and then we need to let them go without holding them back. It is in this way that we become owner of ourselves and not victims anymore.
My mother didn’t know and actually we don’t know that in reality, “ …in our body exist proteins with a function of micro-antennas , extremely sophisticated, that are directly connected with the dna, functioning as transmitter and receptacle of frequencies…Emotions, thoughts, words have their vibrating frequencies, that means that they generate wave lengths of different speed and duration, which are transmitted by the human body magnetic field, activating these micro antennas. Negative signals as fear, anxiety, anger and so, are able to activate only few of these “antennas” while the positive emotions are able to activate a larger number of antennas because they generate a shorter and faster wave length” ( 6) So we have so much more space inside ourselves to resonate with happiness then with unhappiness, in this way we are predisposed! For this we are made…if only we, for first, we impede that the Nature’s project can go into effect, blocking the free movement and flow of the things…” Fetus heard mainly the hight notes : in a liquid space, in fact, ear filters the hight pitched, those acute, and erase the low one” (7) My mother didn’t know and me too, at that time, and so I believed in that need to hide, stock, not manifesting and even if I loved to sing, I learned to do it concealed and with a low tone of voice. Then, through the work done with the Soul Voice® method, I realized that I closed a space inside me and me, to prevent that something from the depth, could be revealed. It happens like that. To everyone. To shut up our voice means to shut up our emotions, feelings, our truth, our identity in itself…“ We don’t produce emotions on the base of specific situations, we are the emotion itself. We are being eternally emotionally located. Our emotions lead us, speak and put on prominence in a subtle level what our soul experiments and wants to communicate to us” (8 )
That Voice which speaks of us
We are our emotions and if our voice results not agreeable then also what’s the content, that is our feel, our being, results disagreeable, judged, wrong. For this reason it is so delicate to work with the voice but at the same time so important, deep, transforming. To accept to work with the own voice is a significant step leading in the direction of wanting to hear ourselves, to welcome us stopping to run away and to dress masks making us different from what we truly are. To be accepted and get recognized our own place in the community we belong to, or we want or we have to belong. We don’t know our voice…and continuously we try to maintain it inside kind of limits we consider acceptable for that community. How many times I have heard “ I don’t like my voice” “ I have a bad voice” or the talking voice itself has told me the pain dwelling inside in those stocked words, expressed faintly, barely pronounced or instead, screamed, overbearing, filling in all the spaces, or mellow and veiled…what a pain not could be ourselves!! We are aware that our voice speaks of our being intimately but we are not aware of what informations really brings of us out in the world so…we are scared so…how many times better not to say…or to learn how to mask creating in this way a kind of gap between what the being is and what becomes manifested outside. And in-fact me too I understood from that peremptor settlement of my “off key” singing, there was something wrong in me, that was better not to show, that was advantageous to hide at the world, my more intimate part to be censored and rejected, and despised…it was a long journey to recover my wish and impulse to get back my voice in my hands also against a part of me, in that journey so special that only with the own voice is possible to do following the path offered by the Soul Voice® method, an organic and I can say so “natural” method. “ What we hear as sound are waves of compression-rarefaction of the air (sound waves) produced by the vibration of the object making the sound ( auditory source). Vocal cords and musical instruments are made for this, but practically everything can vibrate and produce sound, as the air itself in wind and thunder, the soil and the buildings trembling for an earthquake, and even our chest and belly when the doctor knocks with the finger tips” ( 9) “…But if we observe in a closer way the subatomic particles we could discover that doesn’t exist an object not having a certain level of elasticity and not vibrating. The simplest of the atoms, hydrogen, is a vibrant “elastic body” made by a neuron and an electron being them too “ elastic bodies””…” Everything has a fundamental frequency as the notes of a musical scale” (10) It is very interesting to remember that Gurdjieff, the famous caucasic academic and master, through his research, “ he pointed out how man can stay months without eating, days without drink, minuts without breathing but no second without a sensation. In fact deprived of any feedback with our body and our thought, in a total sensory deprivation of the electromagnetic spectrum, we will stop to exist as human being. ( 11) But “…When we emit a sound this generates a reflection on one or more walls and come back to us. In this way every sound we produce ( sing or language) strength the consciousness of our existence, assure us, make us feel alive and vital” (12) But if those sounds we could emit turn against us because hiding , distorting, avoiding our truth?
An in-self gap
In that cave generated inside ourselves when we are not in our truth, between what we are and what we bring of ourselves out in the world , dwell insecurity and fear but substantially it is the lack of faith in what we are, dwelling there. We are fragile, uncertain and fighting against our own essence. A dear chiropractor friend described me how this inner conflict happens because the continuous micro-shock due to the action of control we make on the impulse for which all the body goes with all the muscular apparatus, to express the truly feeling. When we want to say a “no” or a “yes” for example, we don’t express it only with the words and our mental activity, we tell it with all the body, as it is right to be, being that every one of the parts of us are in a continuous strictly mutual connection. And if the inner impulse is “ yes” all in us gets ready to go for that direction but then, if even less than a second later, control mechanism intervenes censoring, all this “yes” expression becomes blocked, compressed inside, ingested, swallowed by an emotional stomach that, time after time, becomes congest and generate troubles of different nature. And what a confusion, what a confusion inside! Always I am touched by how these muscular-emotional shocks are not taken in consideration, being contemplated logical and normal…starting with those mothers or adults who thoughtfully say to the child crying because having beat somewhere or whatever, with a smile and a caress: “ It is nothing, it is nothing!” But…how it is nothing! What an inner conflict comes inside the child, between it’s inner effective pain and the love and sense of dependency from the mother or the adults spring of their own life? How to manage this contrast of informations? And being so little…
Mother Nature’ s suggestion
But children, they know how to do with their emotion and they follow what is our Mother Nature suggestion: they use sounds expressing and transmuting that pain, then going over to something else. The truth going with us making us closer to what we are in respect to, is the truly healing for our injuries, sacrifices, denials. It gives back us the faith that everything is going right dwelling in ourselves, that we can be able to and we can support us, strengthening a positive and purposing sense of ourselves. Faith is a magical word opening all the doors closed by fears and pains, by restricting convictions. Faith is to say yes and finally to give up in fighting…against ourself. Faith allows to welcome us as we are and from there to proceed in our evolution as persons, as Souls, as researchers of our place in the world… And bringing ourselves into ourselves, we bring also the Spring from which we originate from, the matrix of which we are founded by, we give accreditation to that light manifested by our conception, that generates, through that cellular meeting, Life, our own Life… Our emotional luggage is the “humus” with which our being can grow and evolve, it is what can feed our inner developing impulse and make it stronger, without…how we can think to become better as human beings? And the sound of the human voice is the transmuting instrument more effective for this journey, so effective to travel also on multidimensional levels. In fact “ Thanking the cimatic studios ( study concerning waves ) we had the prove that wave, that is sound, influence matter, so demonstrating the relationship between matter and frequency: an ever-present relationship in nature. So it comes by itself that man through the waves, due to his movements, feelings and thoughts especially expressed by his sounds, and our nature in itself is given by vibrational waves, is continuously modeling its habitat.” (13) and in addition “ The sound modulation is the visible effect of an invisible cause: the will.” Jonathan Goldman arrived to this point when referring that “… the intention behind sound is extremely important, it can be important as the sound really created in itself…” From this we can deduce how the conscious sound vector is so important as communication form and, even, as therapy. “ (14) Because “ The intention is defined by the energy behind the sound” (15)
Denying the access to this power intrinsic in the conscious use of the sounds of our voice, prevent us to have available an immense power, hidden in the wrinkles of the vibrating waves of our being that can allow us to walk territories still too much virgin in which we become fully owner of what we are “ creators finally conscious” of our reality. All our body is fitted for this. It is so strong inside ourselves this aspect that “ recently studies have de facto demonstrated that bones, having a crystalline structure, they act in our system as receiver and transmitter amplifiers” ( 16) So with our voice we can choose to free ourselves from what we don’t need and to give energy and strength to the expression of ourselves best, choosing with what to resonate. And we already start to do this just breathing. In this way we proceed in conquering an integral thought where body, mind and soul are located aligned in a fluent and harmonic communication.. A communication of vital importance, without this communication life in itself can’t exist. An inner communication inside any part of the whole, from the simpler unicellular organism as jellyfish is, till the complexes as the one of the human being and more as the social organizations involving a lot of people. A communication also from inside to outside and vice versa. And the quality of life in itself depends from the quality of these communications. Communication allows to informations to arrive there where is important to know and allows to modulate the needed answers that are the appropriate acts and re-acts. A correct communication makes who employs it, stronger, cohesive, aware in its own presence and in what surrounding. We are so conscious of this that we can define our society, “ the society of information and communication”…but with a problem…that we hung out so much and we have given custody of us to technology, to schemes and judgments, that is our rational mind, to forget the most important kind of communications: that one happening in a directly, not mediated at all, among the various aspects of the person and between person and person. That communication living outside rational mind mechanisms with its luggage of judgment and allowing, with it’s free vibration, to the truliest and deepest informations to surface and bring to the light of comprehension and processing. It is this fractured communication making us weaker, uncertain, stiffen, unable to gain all our talents and to be present to ourselves without letting dark sides that can influence us, falsify, forcing a modality not belonging us so that we find ourselves struggling inside becoming the first enemy of ourselves. Fundamental instrument in this communication, remains the same of our daily communication: the voice, our voice, the human voice but in a modality that by now, we have forgotten and that, for now, we are able to use only inside the rules of the linear language, strictly reproducing the cultural schemes in which we live. A Voice, then, reconquering it’s own belonging spaces.
Responsible love that is lovely responsibility
Then it is necessary a responsibility act facing this rift inside us. An act of responsibility and love, two states of the soul embracing each other To consent to cross those limits that normally determine the boundaries inside which we only authorize ourselves to move our steps, requires love… so the heart can stretch out and contain all that is there, and requires responsibility because without assuming ourselves nothing can really evolve. And our voice, no more silent, can open and spread out putting in communication every part of us, inviting what is closed to stop with contraction finally going through the distance between negation and affirmation. If we try to put an hand on our chest while we are speaking or making some sound, we can easily realize that we are vibrating and we can perceive the stream running inside also where our sensation is less detectable. Then we can try to listen ourselves starting from the breath. In a comfortable position with closed eyes simply, breath with your own rhythm, at the same time enlarge your inner ears and listen with all the sensors you can have available to yourself. Feel now till where your breath arrives, feel where switch on bringing presence and where, on the contrary, something is missing, where the vibration of the rhythm and of the nourishment not arriving so easily can bring and take. Just there, now, bring your attention and breath. Stay inside the movement rocking you while inhaling and exhaling and as Osho suggests “ sit down inside yourselves, in your belly as you were inside a bamboo” letting that your sensation can surface without remaining attached. The voice work is profound and important and I have not the intention here to go into this in a complete way, already exist the books written by Karina Schelde, the Soul Voice® method founder, and more, exist work shops and individual sessions that I and my colleagues offer, because the voice work is over all concrete and needs the direct experience to understand its unique importance and effectiveness. Anyway it’s our birth right, as Karina Schelde says, to go back to the connection with this tool our Mother Nature makes available for us, in any kind of moment this need surface to …it doesn’t exist an instrument more perfect and natural, we have to honor it.
So going on in that comfortable position of before, with closed eyes, we can try now to have a journey through the vocals. Starting from “A” and then going to the others one by one having a silence space when going from one vowel to the other. We can make a sequence of three or seven or nine or…of the same vowel but what is important is to listen to how those specific acoustics move inside yourself. Every sound vibration will bring to you its own specific qualities and you could feel it inside as a wave more horizontal or vertical or rounded, open or closed, colored or half felt only, over or under or on the left or on the right, or warm or cold or…every vowel brings with itself a certain kind of information coming in syntony or in resistance with a part of you speaking about what you are in that moment, about the point in which you are. There will be one or more vowels that instead will result more agreeable and pleasant for you and there will be one or more that instead will be more difficult to sound or will make you feel a certain kind of bother, complaint or “strange”. In this way you will have available the two opposite elements with which you can offer to yourself a inner balancing easy, free and pleasant. Use the sounds of the “strange” vowels to explore inside and to help you to perceive sensations of yourselves guiding to a never explored profile. Giving this kind of sounds you will become more familiar with something disagreeable that you didn’t know but that actually is dwelling in you and that you can integrate with more consciousness. That “something” will become less contract so that it will be easier to let it go…the sound of that vowel will guide you and will bring to know how the perceptions in your body will change more and more exploring the sound, lightly, with faith and curiosity. For example the sound that at the beginning was stopping in your right side without crossing the left one, than will can find the way to communicate just there where initially it couldn’t happen, so awakening what was dozed off. Going on in this way you will feel yourself more integrate. But also the sounds of the vowel that you recognize since the beginning as “yours”, more agreable and easier, have something special to donate to you. Sounding and repeating those vowels, their vibrations in some way will strength your desire to enlarge your lungs and to occupy more space and “air” around you. They will donate a new pleasure to stay with yourselves…and if you feel a little bit “down” that vowel will help you to go up again. Going on then, we can experiment the effect of the different tonalities. The tone we use is the most important expressive vehicle because the tone we use gives the color to the sound. The proof of the pudding. Always using vowels try to use them with different tones, deep or closed or opener, or again in hight notes or whispered or scratched…again listen how your body has reactions according the different tones you use and what kind of sensations raise in you. Play with them, it is pleasant to go from one tone to another, without, by force, to remain on a specific one, without taking too serious the different effects coming. It is a good training to go closer to the emotions that those sounds with different keys will start to stimulate. Again listen to yourselves, with which one you feel more comfortable, more yours and which one, on the contrary, not? It is possible that you get unexpected discoveries about yourselves…for example with those kind of tone that you never allow yourselves to use and that maybe at the end, are not so bad… At this point we can enlarge our sound horizons and experiment the different keys also of the words going, for example, from a kind “ Good morning” to another one nervous, to another else aggressive so playing with the different personalities called by those sounds, coming in and going out their roles, giving light in this way, to something of the many aspects of yours. Body is involved too for sure in the sound expression so that, as a further step, could be interesting for you to associate movements of arms and legs, of the belly, the head, the shoulder…or maybe only the face muscles while you are performing the different tones and sounds. And if there is something that is heavy for you, that gives you trouble or pain or anger…there is nothing of bad in dedicating two minutes in the expression of it at least to yourself! To give sound to the different aspects of our expressions allows ourselves to move with less attachment and judgment inside, strengthening our being, giving a sense of more clarity also in the relationship with what is outside. And think…that sense, that could surface, of shame or disapproval making feel ridiculous in doing these experiences with the voice, is just the gate to access over finally back to us in the acceptance of what we are, there, where dwells our freedom and the opportunity to realize what makes us fully alive. “The human being has to learn to use sound if wants to take part of the divine endeavor. Who is wise, from whatever religion belongs or comes from, has to be alike the Egyptian minister “ right of voice”, or the Indian epic poet, or the mythological solar hero, the great Ermete, the magic songs of whom, were attracting the wild beasts elated of joy” (17)
1- Karina Schelde “Expression into freedom”
2- Karina Schelde “ Soul Voice”
3- Karina Schelde “Expression into freedom”
4- T.Tuis “432 hertz: la rivoluzione musicale” pag 128
5- M. Capozza, L. Pieroni “Science and Knowledge” n° 42 2012, pag 16
6- F. Gorni “Science and Knowledge” n° 42 – 2012 pag 30
7- L. Vignali “ Musica e suoni nell’Arte della Guarigione. Le proprietà dei suoni e della musica nella vita quotidiana” Imola, La Mandragola Editrice 2006 pag 51
8- Carmen Di Muro “Science and Knowledge” n° 51 – 2015 pag 45
9- M. Capozza, L. Pieroni “Science and Knowledge” n° 42 – 2012 pag 17
10- T. Tuis “432 hertz: la rivoluzione musicale” pag 34
11- T. Tuis “ 432 hertz: la rivoluzione musicale” pag 36
12- L.Vignali “ Musica e suoni nell’Arte della guarigione. Le proprietà dei suoni e della musica nella vita quotidiana”
13- T.Tuis “432 hertz: la rivoluzione musicale” pag 128
14- T. Tuis “ 432 hertz: la rivoluzione musicale” pag 154
15- L. Vignali “Musica e suoni nell’Arte della guarigione. Le proprietà dei suoni e della musica nella vita quotidiana” pag 15
16- T. Tui “ 432 hertz: la rivoluzione musicale” pag 163
17- “Le rythme, créateur de forces et de formes” by Anne Osmont ed. Les Editions des Champs Elysee, 1942